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Now who, this fellow asked, would pay $36,000 for a Skylane?

Another fellow opined that Cessna didn’t care if anyone bought one or not. “Cessna,” he said, “would love to get rid of the Skylane.” Why? Because everyone could remember when the Skylane cost about $15,000. The new models never had such a low price, so Cessna could raise the price and make more money.

Well, to tell you the truth, that line of reasoning didn’t make much sense to me then and doesn’t now. As we all know, many people did pay $36,000 and, as inflation rose over the decades and modest improvements were made in the Skylane, many more people paid a lot more for the airplane.

Now hear this: The June issue of Flying magazine has a story on a brand-new Turbo Skylane with an “approximate price” (whatever that means) of $427,400!

I’m one of those old-timers myself, now, and can remember when a new twin propjet cost less than that!

Of course the new Skylane is a lot different airplane now. It included a G1000 system, Synthetic Vision Technology, GFC 700 autopilot and WAAS, all by Garmin. If you measure capability, this airplane is vastly different from the old Skylane I flew for a while back in the early 1970s.

I wonder if somewhere, at some airport, old codgers like me are wondering who would buy such an airplane for $427,400. Probably so, I reckon.

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This is a true story.

My friend Bryan Townsend, a top-drawer professional public speaker/writer, travels almost constantly. Last week he had the trip from hell.

Without belaboring the points, Bryan’s trip included one late flight that caused him to miss his connection, one night spent lying on the floor of the Atlanta airport (I’ve done the same myself), baggage that didn’t arrive at his destination, ironing the clothes that he had worn since the day before, and making such a good speech that the audience bought every book he had with him.

His trip home was a little—but not much—better. One main complaint was that Delta personnel treated him rudely at every opportunity. There was also a discrepancy of $30 in the price. When he finally got home, he emailed Delta about that $30. They emailed back instructing him to fill out a form and return it so they could evaluate his claim.

Bryan then sent them an email and it was a scorcher. He listed all of his troubles in detail, then concluded with…

“…Now, you want me to look up all this information. Forget it! If you can’t find it with my name and Skymiles number, keep the $30 you owe me. By the way, for awhile, I used to be a (Delta) Platinum member. It’s funny, no one at Delta has ever asked why I have moved most of my business to Southwest, who, by the way, has never charged me for checking a bag, and has never lost my bag. No one at Southwest has ever sternly corrected me for pushing the wrong button, or for asking for anything. And I have never stood in any line for over 15 minutes (except of course for the TSA security line) while traveling on Southwest. Come to think of it, I’ve never sat on a Southwest plane for over 15 minutes waiting to take off or to taxi to a gate. I’ve never been charged a dollar to change a Southwest ticket. I’ve never been denied my luggage by Southwest like I was by you all in Atlanta last year when my flight back to Birmingham was cancelled and I decided to drive home and your people laughed at me when I asked for my bag, and I have never had to spend a night on the floor at the airport because of Southwest.”

“It’s really funny. Once upon a time, I was really a loyal Delta customer. I haven’t changed, but Delta sure has. Just keep the $30. You’re probably going to need it.”

Perhaps I should mention that Bryan is one of the most easy going people that I have ever known. But he does have his limits. As do we all.

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For decades I have presented a speech that includes the warning that, “Things look different when you look at them from a different angle.” Last week I learned that truth all over again.

I have always prided myself on being able to read maps. I love maps. I have flown over much of our country using naught but a sectional chart while flying crop dusters with no radios. It was fun.

Last week I learned that son Kevin is traveling on a business trip to Shanghai in China. His flight will include a non-stop leg from Chicago to Shanghai. Being interested, I set out to create a map showing the great circle route for that leg. Google’s Great Circle Mapper gave me the route in short time.

I couldn’t understand the map at all. I went to another site and created another map which was exactly the same. I couldn’t understand it either.

Son Kevin, who knows most everything, pointed out that—guess what? I was looking at the map from a different angle than the one to which I was accustomed. The map was presented with a view from above the North Pole.

Bingo. I could understand the map. And once again, I learned that things do indeed look different when looked at from a new angle.

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Well, glory be!

Business aviation has a new friend and CBS Evening News ran a great video telling the good news.

I gotta admit I would have missed this (I was attending my 50th high school reunion and was too busy hugging women to be watching the news) if it hadn’t been reported in AOPA’s Aviation e-Brief. I went to the site and there was the CBS video showing and telling the good side of the business aviation story.

This may be a major turning point. Ever since November—when three of the large automakers flew three corporate jets to Washington to beg for bailout money—we’ve heard naught but vilification about corporate aircraft. Now the mayors of 70 small cities are asking Obama—who sneeringly referred to such aircraft as “fancy jets”—to help undo the bad rep of corporate aircraft.

Think of it—city guvmints are asking the federal guvmint to call off the dogs.

Wonderful! At last we have someone other than our own industry telling our story. These are our users and customers, and they say they need us.

If it hasn’t been yanked yet, you can see the story and video yourself at…

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/05/17/eveningnews/main5021145.shtml

Enjoy.

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Never thought I’d see the day when one of the biggest topics in the country was what is, or is not, torture.

I have a suggestion…

If you really want people to spill their guts, put them in a middle seat in economy class on any airline. Then fly them back and forth between New York, say, and any city on the left coast. Tell them they can get off whenever they start talking. I doubt they can stand more than two round trips.

Can you tell that I have just flown the airlines across the continent? Nothing went drastically wrong, except that the westbound leg took off with no—repeat no—potable water. That meant no coffee, no tea, and no real washing of hands. This came while the whole world was talking of swine flu, so washing hands seemed important. Fortunately, I had a little bottle of sanitary hand cleaner, so was better off than most.

Other than that, it was just same old, same old, and that means it was more or less awful, starting with trying to get the airline on the phone in the first place. How in the world can anyone survive treating customers that way?

I live in Erwin, a very small town in the mountains of east Tennessee, and my friends in cities tease me about living in a hick town. Humpf!

If you have tried to phone any large company lately—say a phone company, airline, insurance company or large bank—then you know it is a miserable, painful, and insulting experience. Let me tell you how it works in Erwin.

I needed to get our riding lawn mower—which will not fit into the back of my little pickup truck—prepared for the summer. In a city that would require research, big bucks, a long delay, and other indignities.

In Erwin I asked fellow Kiwanis members. They recommended Keesecker Appliance. I asked Sammy Keesecker, also a Kiwanian, and he said sure. Within a few days, men from Keesecker picked up my lawn mower, took it to the shop and changed the oil, sharpened the blades, aired up the tires, replaced filters, checked it out, cleaned it up, and brought it back.

The total charge? $42.86. And that’s typical of business in Erwin. Eat your heart out, city folk.

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 I, probably like you, figured that fuel cells—when feasible—would be for small cars and maybe very small airplanes, but certainly not in jumbo jets. Could be we were wrong.

The March 2009 issue of Smithsonian’s Air & Space magazine, a publication much respected and admired, included an article titled “Flying Fuel Cells,” in which it was reported that a Super Dimona aircraft was flown using a fuel cell. The Dimona is, of course, a small plane, so how did I leap from there to jumbo jets? The article explained it all.

In the Dimona, the fuel cell ran an electric motor that actually turned the propeller (there was also a battery that helped on takeoff).

But, you might say, jumbo jets don’t even have propellers. Right you are, but Boeing conducted this flight. (The tiny Dimona had “Boeing” painted on the cowl. Talk about something that could cause rumors!) As Boeing points out, a cell that can spin a prop could instead spin a generator that might provide all of the electrical power the jumbo uses.

Currently a small fraction of power from the jet engines and/or an APU is used for generators that run onboard lighting and other systems. Fuel cells would run cleaner and save fuel, which would save weight and thus save even more fuel. The jumbo jet would thus save money and be “greener” as well. That’s a win-win improvement in today’s world. (Just last week cometh from the Wall Street Journal a “News Alert” informing me that the EPA found that “carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases pose a danger to the public, setting the stage for a battle over regulations that could have a far-reaching impact on the U.S. economy.”)

Ah, and, as mentioned before in this BLOG, P&W is working on a geared turbofan (they have already sold some of these engines for future airliners) that will save even more fuel and also lower carbon dioxide emissions.

But wait! There’s more! Engineers at other companies are improving LEDs so that they can replace the lights in airliner interiors and maybe even the landing lights. That would save more fuel which would mean a lighter takeoff which would save even more fuel.

Ain’t the free market wonderful?

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My first airline ride was in 1964. I rode several genav airplanes before that, and even jumped out of a few, but never before had I ridden an airline. Since then the airlines have taken me from coast to coast, border to border, from Hawaii to Alaska and a few foreign countries.

In my mind, I had seen it all. Wrong.

Recently wife Gail and I got up early in Boston, drove to Hartford, and flew back home to TN. At six that morning—before we had even left the motel in Boston—Delta called with a recorded message. Our 10 a.m. flight from Hartford was canceled and we had been rebooked on a 1 p.m. flight. No big surprise there, it messed up our schedule, but, hey, stuff happens, you know?

The big surprise came at Hartford.

We got the new booking all straightened out, then learned from the schedule board that our original flight was scheduled to leave on time, at 10 a.m. We asked the man at the counter and he was—shall we say—far less than interested, much less helpful.

We got to the gate of the new flight very early, and guess what—our original flight was leaving right on time at the very next gate. We tried to get on, but no dice. It was full.

We gave up, went back to the new gate and unloaded on the gate agent, Tim Williams. Now Tim was a class act. He went far out of his way to bend over backward and make up for the mess. He almost made us happy.

The next day I called Delta’s media department and got a super-nice lady. I wrote her name down but cannot now find it. I apologize.

She found the truth and relayed it. Delta had indeed called us to announce that the flight was canceled. Then they found a substitute airplane, so the flight was back on. Unfortunately, Delta failed to recontact us with that info. By the time I hung up, this lady almost had me in a good mood again.

Still, we got home very late that day through no fault of our own. And to paraphrase Brother Dave Gardner, that, dear hearts, is the reason that we, and thousands like us, now drive far more often than we used to.

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Much of the confusion and disagreement regarding the economic mess occurs because nobody can understand it all. Some say it was caused partially by the sale and purchase of mortgage “derivatives’’. Can you really understand and explain exactly what derivatives are? I can’t.

Every time one person explains why Obama’s plans are dead wrong, another person explains why his plans are wonderful and necessary. Most of the time, most of the people can’t pretend to understand what either person is talking about.

Ah, but then along came AIG bonuses and all that changed. Everybody can understand those bonuses. The guvmint gave AIG a fortune in bailout money to help straighten out the economy. AIG almost immediately gave a couple of hundred million of those dollars to the very executives who were running the company when the you-know-what hit the fan. The public is screaming that that ain’t right.

It’s a mistake for guvmint to do something stupid if the citizens can understand it. We haven’t seen such sign waving and hollering since the 1960s.

When the public disagrees so loudly and in such numbers, even presidents and congresspersons listen. Obama was so mad he set out to find a way to get the bonuses back. One idea is to tax the bonuses away.

Well, some seem to realize that (1) the bailout as written allowed for such bonuses, and (2) once a guvmint backs down on something that it agreed to, there is a cost involved. For example, right now the guvmint wants private investors to purchase much of the financial world’s “toxic” assets. That might be hard to do, if the guvmint backs down on what they agreed to in the bailout.

On the other hand, the stock market went up today, perhaps because of the guvmint saying private investors will be offered a good deal on toxic assets.

BTW, everybody says credit is nonexistent, but everywhere I look lenders are touting fast, cheap loans on everything from airplane purchases to quick cash.

Me, I’m just as confused as I was last week.

So, what’s it have to do with aviation? Everything. People and businesses usually don’t buy airplanes unless they have faith in the future. That kind of.a faith is rare, these days.

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Okay, let me see if I got this right…

We got in trouble because the banks—not to mention Fannie and Freddie—wanted to lend us money whether we could afford to pay it back or not. So we borrowed it—and guess what?—we couldn’t pay it back.

Now we are in the dangdest mess you ever saw.

So, how are we going to get out of said mess? Well, first we have to get the banks to lending money again, preferably on easy terms.

Did I get that right? If so, then can somebody please explain to me how this is gonna work?

Then we gotta refinance all those mortgages that all those people can’t pay. Is there any way in the world we can do that without making credit too easy again?

Banks, automakers, and people who can’t—or won’t—pay their mortgage all get bailouts. But Ralph, you explain, they bought houses that are now worth less than they were when they bought them. Well, hell, so did I, but I’m still making the payments.

The guvmint’s gonna fix some things by taking them over and running them so well that it will save us all money. Wasn’t it Mike Huckabee who asked the question, “Can you remember the last time the government ran something and made it better?” I surely can’t.

My wife reminds me that the guvmint took over a, uh, “house of ill repute” one time, because the owners owed taxes. My wife told me at the time, “I bet they lose money on it.” Don’t laugh—they did.

Hillary wants to take over health care and save us all money. Heck, the guvmint already runs part of our health care. They call it Medicare, and they have it so out of control that the costs loom over our heads like a tsunami with proportions that dwarf our Social Security debts.

So why in the world would we turn the rest of our health care over to the guvmint?

I am sore afraid.

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Going to aviation conventions is fun and educational. Going to one again is even more so.

In January I spoke for NBAA’s Schedulers & Dispatchers (hereinafter called S&D) for the 2^nd time. What a difference. The first time was before September 11, 2001. Attendees’ worlds have changed since then. As their first chairperson, Gerald Graham, told me, the three biggest changes since have been security, security, security.

This was the S&D’s 20^th.anniversary. They are proud of that, and rightfully so. The business has changed a zillionfold since then, and they have adjusted and grown successfully.

This week I speak for Women In Aviation (WAI) for the 5^th time. It will be a wonderful experience. The first time I knew only Dr. Peggy Chabrian; this year I expect to meet many old friends. This is WAI’s 20^th anniversary also, and the group has grown like a weed during those years, both in size and in importance to the industry. Their exhibitor and sponsor lists read like a Who’s Who in aviation. I’m looking forward to getting back. Those women—and some male members, now—are industrious and determined people. I like them.

In April, I speak for the Aviation Insurance Association (AIA) for the 4^th time at their annual meeting in San Francisco. They are a fun and hardworking group. One year a non-aviation friend met me at the Tampa Airport for coffee, then drove me to the AIA meeting. As luck would have it, the hotel had experienced some kind of electrical problem, and AIA members had been temporarily evacuated from the building. They were standing outside the front door when I arrived, and immediately pretended to be out front for the purpose of welcoming me. They made a big (and loud) deal of it, and my friend remains impressed to this day.

I really like conventions. You learn something new at each one and usually it’s something important and exciting. Meeting old friends warms the cockles of one’s heart and making new friends is equally special.

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